weird thoughts of an outsider

Written in the stars

Most of my life, I’ve tried to figure out the Why’s and the How’s. Why is one person always lucky and how does another one always has all the bad luck in the world. Are things really written in the stars when we’re born? Or do we still have a free choice in how we live our lifes. Continue reading “Written in the stars”


If only…..

More than a year ago, I posted my last blog. Since then many things happened and in a way it didn’t. After more than a year I am still at the same spot where I left my last blog; wondering if Homeboy and I mist our chance, 18 years ago. Continue reading “If only…..”

When nothing goes right, go home

Against all odds I worked my way up in life. My company is still going strong, my children are doing fine and I got invited to visit family in Australia. Life seemed to be smiling to me and I had a wonderfull time in Australia untill I got back. Continue reading “When nothing goes right, go home”

Back in time

It started as a normal friday today. Loads of work. An early message of Homeboy and a break in the afternoon watching the hitserie Homeland. I already saw a few episodes and I was proud of myself being able to watch it without memories. Continue reading “Back in time”

Feel alive

It started as a normal saturday for me doing some housecleaning, going to the supermarket, checking my mail. There was this blog from Anonymous in my mailbox. I read it with mixed emotion. First reaction is of course wanting to comfort. But comfort doesnt help in a break up. Continue reading “Feel alive”

Crazy CatLady

There I was, at the end of the day in the supermarket, getting some catfood and noodles. Both of my kids where gone for the night and I asked Homeboy if he wanted to hang out. Since we dont have much time together I thought he would say yes but he said no. He was tired. Continue reading “Crazy CatLady”

Alone or lonely

You can be alone and not feel lonley but you can also be in a crowd and feeling completely lost. The last week my house had been a runaway house for teenagers who ran away from home. They needed a place to stay or they would have end up sleeping on the street. I can’t turn my head, ignore the problems those kids have so I offer them a place to stay. I’m not rich, I’m always struggling paying the bills but I do have a spare room and some food for them. Continue reading “Alone or lonely”

Faded sparkles

What did you do? You are all sparkly and joy. You look so great!‘ It’s what I hear since the day I met my Homeboy again. For the sake of clarity lets name him Homeboy. They are right, when I see the photo’s taken by my daughter, I see a sparkling lively person. Like she is on top of the world and never had a damn cloud in her life. Continue reading “Faded sparkles”

Its gotta be you

Just when you think you got everything under control, something happens again. More than often I find myself going through life like it’s a bad soapserie and there is never a dull moment. It was a normal thursdayevening. Both kids had a sleepover somewhere else and I was alone in the house. Totally addicted to the hitserie Nashville, i was watching episode after episode while my cat was laying next to me. Continue reading “Its gotta be you”

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