‘They’ say I’m no different. ‘They’ also say 50% of the divorced women don’t have a baby-daddy coming around or get alimoney. I always wonder where those women are. Who are they, where do they live because I can’t find them. They probably work just as hard as me. As far as I know, there is no special name for it. Searching online I start at a websites for divorced people but there I find issues about how to spend their free weekends or their ex’es, which I can’t relate to that because I don’t have any problems with my ex. We havent seen or heard from him in about 5 or 6 years. Looking at a website where parents lost their partner, comes more close to my experience of being a 100% mother but I cant lie about my ex-partner being dead. I may have wished it many times, not because I hate him that much or I wish him bad but lets face it; he’s worth more dead than alive. I never got alimoney, at least my children will get a orphanpension.

Anyway, for the past decade I have been working my ass off and in return I lost my social life. Now the kids getting older I think I need to rebuild my social life again. It’s just that I have no connection with the outside world. It’s like I lived in a warzone and had to survive no matter what and the rest of the world just did their little thingies. I don’t understand the world anymore and much more, the world doesnt get me. Maybe it was my single parenthood what changed me, or maybe the survival-modus I got pushed in to. I just wish there was at least one person who gets it.

I am a 100% single mom owning a company. I don’t share holidays, birthdays or Christmasses with my ex. I always struggle paying bills and giving my kids what they need. I never have a day off from motherhood and dating? I don’t even know how to fit that into my schedule.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m too weird for this world and it’s impossible to get me. Or maybe I just should use my magic wand, say bibbidibobbidiboe and ask for a friend who gets me!