It was the day after the biggest storm since 1900 when I took my daily walk through the woods. Lately I always walk the same route but this time it was a mess, broken trees and leaves were lying everywhere on the path I walked on. It reminded me of my own life and the broken pieces that healed again along the way.
I listened to a song on my MP3 player of long time ago. I was 15 and still naive about life. I had this crazy idea that if I would be a good girl some Prince Charming would swep me of my feet and take me to his castle to love me forever and ever. My Prince Charming would save me from the castle of the wicked witch and we would have a wonderfull life together.
Now, more than 20 years later I realize I couldnt be more wrong. I was a good girl in a bad situation. I survived violence, hate and have spent more times at the bottom than the bottom itself. I felt sorry for that little girl back then. If only she had better parents, guides, if only she she got more love, guidance and appreciation it could have turned out so differently. But because I survived this tragic path of life I did become a strong woman. In the back of my mind I hug this little ignorent girl I used to be. ‘Girl, you are going to be fine. I know it’s hard sometimes, I know it’s tough but you will survive and I am proud of the woman you will become later in life.’
I laugh about my silly thoughts. I may be different or a weirdo, I may be crazy and most of my days I feel like an alien in this world who desperately needs to meet another alien from the planet I once came from. But most of all, despite everything, I am surprisingly strong and resilient like most of these trees still standing in this beautifull wood. While I jump over one of the fallen trees on my path, a little butterfly is flying around me like it wants to play. Together with this little butterfly I dance around feeling free and knowing that I can survive anything if I just believe in it.